"The Candidate's a Dodger" (anonymous political protest song of the late nineteenth-century USA)

MIDI-sequenced by Kate for electronic instruments

PETITION FOR "POLITICIAN LEGIBILITY ACT"

This petition will go to:
the Speaker of the House,
the Majority Leader of the Senate,
the Minority Leader of the House,
and the Minority Leader of the Senate.

WHEREFORE, since it has become public knowledge that the handwritten notes of I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby (Vice-President Cheney's former Chief of Staff) defy decipherment by anyone but himself (a fact which
has required the special prosecutor in Mr. Libby's trial to rely on Mr. Libby, the defendant, for an understanding of these notes),

RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, hereby request that Congress enact a "Politician Legibility Act" to require that all political appointees and elected officials of the Executive Branch:

(a)
shall submit, within one week of assuming office, to a test of handwriting legibility;

(b)
shall submit (should they fail the handwriting legibility test) to a course of instruction in handwriting;

and
(c)
shall maintain all handwritten notes and other handwritten communications and documents in legible form, subject to a civil fine of $50.00 for each page containing an illegibility.